How to Build Self-Confidence (A Six-Month Challenge)
Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head a hundred times because it did not go as well as you’d like? And you try to relive it and play how it should’ve been in your head? And you just feel like a complete idiot for not knowing what to say or do?
“I should said this…” or “I should not have said that…” or “I should have said it this way…”
We’ve all been there. I decided to call this blog “one wrong move” because of moments like that. I can be having an amazing time but then I’ll say something remotely stupid and end up regretting that for the rest of the night. Okay, that seems like an insignificant example. But think about what it means on a greater scale. I’m sure you there are certain events in your life that still haunt you with that age-old question: What if?
The worst part about these tiny wrong moves is that they deal a huge blow in your ego. The “what if” question has become universally depressing. What if I was better looking? What if I was smarter? What if I had more money? What if I took that chance? What if I voiced myself out? What if I made a mistake? What if I ruined my chances?
You will never know the answer – life is cruel that way. Can you imagine how difficult it is to function holding this baggage over your shoulder? You will be filled with crippling self-doubt. Your insecurities will be amplified. Your weaknesses will be magnified. Your flaws will be on the spotlight.
Isn’t it tiring? Isn’t it absolutely exhausting?
Well I’ve had it. I am tired of asking the what if question and trying my best to answer it with my feeble imagination.
The thing is, I will always wonder. I will always ask. I will always probe. So the only solution I can find is to actually grow myself and take peace knowing that whatever thought, speech, or action that came out of me at any given time were the best I could’ve given.
I identified key areas that I wanted to improve on. I also gave myself a timeline (6 months). Then, I set milestones for each month in the next 6 months. I want to share this journey with you because it’s a scary journey. And I know it’s a journey that you also want to embark in.
In the next 6 months, I intend to drastically transform certain areas of my life. Each month, I will identify key steps to slowly transform them:
My Physical Appearance – Losing weight and being my ideal physique has always been a challenge in my life. It has always been easy to blame genetics and say screw this I’m gonna have that ice cream. But who am I kidding and who ends up regretting it at the end?
My Social Life – I have always been independent. Don’t get me wrong, being independent has served me a lot in my life. However, I noticed that my total independence has also caused me to isolate myself. Why? Because it is easier. It is easier to live in my own little world than venture out there. But life lived in isolation is no different than non-existence.
My Career – I love my job (which not many people can say sincerely). Now, I want to challenge myself to grow and ask myself if I am actually headed to where I want to be 10 years from now.
My Attitude – I can barely recognize myself with how much my attitude has changed over the past couple of years. I’d like to believe that the change was for the better. But I am still crippled and paralyzed everytime something wrong happens. How will life change once I let go of stress and see life as a playground? A playground of legos and nutella everywhere.
My Life Experiences – I need incentive in this transformation. This is why I want to stop waiting to do all the things I want to do and just go for them… NOW!
It is going to be an interesting 6 months. If you have stories to share about how you build your self-confidence through self-transformation, feel free to share and leave it at the comments. 🙂