Crying is Good
My friend who was not allowed to even go outside the house beyond 8p.m. was wasted – and I mean wasted. It was her first time drinking more than one bottle of beer and apparently, she was trying to drown her guy-related sorrows.
I asked her how she felt and tears just burst like a water balloon being popped between a body-builder’s thighs. It wasn’t just sobbing, it was full on wailing. I half-expected her to turn into a banshee and was quite disappointed that she didn’t.
I rubbed her back and told her to cry and let it all out. Our other friend approached us slowly and he looked appalled. He looked at me and sighed.
“You should stop making her cry,” he said sternly. “You should comfort her instead of making her cry even more. You always do this.”
I was taken aback. It was a just a week ago when he was confiding his own problem to me. I didn’t know what to make of his statement. So I asked him what he meant.
“Remember last week when I had a problem and I was talking to you?” he asked. “You made me cry so much that I had to tell myself that the crying was just too much and I had to stop.”
At that point – I just smiled at him.
Crying is one of the best coping mechanisms that we have against sorrows. It is one of the most effective activities to literally wash away our pain. I explained to my friend that it was okay to cry and I am actually glad to hear his statement.
He said: “…I had to tell myself that the crying was just too much and I had to stop.”
That was exactly the point. No one in this world can actually tell you that the crying is already too much apart from yourself. I wanted him to cry until he had enough, the same thing I wanted my other friend to do. I wanted her to wail and howl like a wolf on steroids until she becomes tired of it.
The worst thing we can do is to ignore our pain and set it aside. It takes a lot of courage to confront our grief and actually process it. This is why a lot of us choose to dismiss it. This is why we choose to believe that it is better to pretend we’re okay than to take the pain head on.
Allow yourself to be sad. If you truly feel sad, ask yourself why. Acknowledge the emotion and deal with it and for goodness’ sake, let yourself cry. Cry as much as you need. I guarantee that you will get tired of it eventually.
Sometimes, sadness comes for a reason and sometimes it’s just pure hormones.
Here’s my advice, when you feel down, take some time alone. Go somewhere private, even if it’s just the toilet in your office. Ask yourself why you feel that way. Dig deep. When you find a reason to be sad, then you can figure out how to fix it. If there’s no reason to be sad, then you might just snap out of it automatically.
If you’re going through a rough time, take some time within the day to deal with it. It’s like scratching a wound. Get it out of your system. Here’s my rule of thumb: if I am unhappy for more than half a day, I need to do something. I refuse to allow myself to be sad for such a long time. I cannot take those moments back! I cannot trade them off for more time.
So if you have to, cry. It’s good for you.